


Because I'm Here With You

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Love, Memories, Protectiveness, Scars, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Erza would have been lying if she said that she hadn’t felt some trepidation when Mira had rolled over in bed one morning, bed-hair creating a halo-effect around her head as she leaned over to peer at Erza who had woken at the movement, although she was still groggy. She had known that she was in trouble the moment Mira’s expression had turned pleading, swallowing as she caught the shimmer in blue eyes, already knowing that she wasn’t going to be able to say no. That had nearly been a lie, the ringing in her ears, and the sudden tension that locked her in place, was the only reason why she hadn’t shouted out a refusal there and then, and even then, it was a close thing.The beach.





	Because I'm Here With You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icemakestars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemakestars/gifts).



                

    Erza would have been lying if she said that she hadn’t felt some trepidation when Mira had rolled over in bed one morning, bed-hair creating a halo-effect around her head as she leaned over to peer at Erza who had woken at the movement, although she was still groggy. She had known that she was in trouble the moment Mira’s expression had turned pleading, swallowing as she caught the shimmer in blue eyes, already knowing that she wasn’t going to be able to say no. That had nearly been a lie, the ringing in her ears, and the sudden tension that locked her in place, was the only reason why she hadn’t shouted out a refusal there and then, and even then, it was a close thing.

_The beach._

    She couldn’t say that she hadn’t seen it coming as her girlfriend had been dropping hints for weeks that they should take a holiday. It had been a long year, and they both bore fresh scars on their bodies and souls, and while she had pretended to miss the hints, she had to admit that the idea had been growing more and more alluring. In fact, she had been intending to raise the conversation herself, after she had lacked the energy to tear a strip off Natsu and Gray after their brawl the previous afternoon had sent of cake flying across the floor, and her lips quirked for a moment at the realisation that, that had been her breaking point. However, her amusement was short-lived, because Mira had beaten her to the punch, staring at her with pleading eyes and a shy smile that was fading, the half-formed plan for a trip to beach dying on her tongue at whatever Erza’s expression was showing right now. And Erza was almost afraid to imagine what was written across her face right now, unable to stop her arms creeping around herself in a protective hug.

_The beach._

      It wouldn’t be the first time she had been to the beach since the events in the Tower of Heaven, but those other times it had been adjacent to a job, her mind focused on a thousand different things, and trying to keep her unruly teammates in line. That had been just enough to keep the memories at bay, although even then she had found herself drifting for a moment, locked in place, and quivering under the force of her memories. But this was different. What Mira was proposing was different. It was a holiday, a break, with no job and no teammates or siblings to interrupt or distract them. Nothing but the two of them, the sea, the sand…and the memories.

“Erza? Erza?!” She blinked as a frantic voice broke through her thoughts, startled to find Mira practically straddling her, hands cupping both her cheeks with trembling hands and fear in her eyes.

“Mira…?”

“You were a little lost.” It had become their code, the words they whispered when one of them had a bad day, the memories just a little too close to the surface, or the uncertainties speaking a little louder than usual. Mira’s fingers were gentle, belying the power that lay simmering just beneath the surface as she traced Erza’s face, before leaning down to kiss her lightly on the tip of the nose. “Where did you go?” Soft. Simple. She wasn’t pushing for answers, and Erza knew that she could stay silent if she wanted to and that Mira would accept that and just hold her close. Instead, she sighed, closing her eyes for a moment, and focusing on the sensation of gentle fingers against her skin, and the warmth of Mira pressing against her, feeling the memories quietening, the tension easing although it didn’t disappear completely.

_Safe._

_Loved._

    She basked in the sensation, in the emotions so freely given and shown, before slowly opening her eyes and reaching out, brushing trembling fingers through the messy, white hair. “The T-Tower of Heaven.” Even now name brought a tremor to her lips. The pain and memories had dimmed over the years, but she had long since realised and accepted that it was a scar that would never fully heal. She could live with that, because without it she might not have learnt her magic, or found her way to Fairy Tail, and to Mira…and as much as part of her wished there had been an easier path to get to that point, she wouldn’t give up what she had now for anything.

    The quiet gasp from above her told her that Mira had connected the dots, of course, she had. Her girlfriend might play the airhead at time if only to help cause chaos in the guild, but her mind was as sharp as Erza’s when it wanted to be. There was an apology in the blue eyes that met her gaze, and Erza shook her head, realising that she didn’t need it. Her hand leaving Mira’s hair and moving to a warm cheek, the touch giving her something to focus on. “It’s not your fault, the memories just caught me by surprise.”

“But…”

“I want to go on holiday with you,” Erza cut off the whispered protest, holding Mira’s gaze without hesitation to show her that she meant what she was saying. It didn’t stop her from hesitating or drawing in a deep breath before she added more softly. “Let’s go to the beach.” _Go Forward. Keep going forward._

“Erza,” Mira sighed. “There are plenty of places we can go, you don’t need to push yourself.” It was an absolution and acceptance all at once, and Erza knew that all she had to do was nod and agree and they could have their holiday, and the memories would eventually be pushed to the back of her mind once more. Until the next time. That wasn’t what she wanted, not anymore. She had tried that once, and then they had all been dragged into her past, her secrets torn from her before she had been ready to share them. And maybe she wasn’t entirely ready for this, but focusing on Mira’s warmth, the comforting touch against her face, she realised that she could share this with her.

“No,” she shook her head, and there was no waver or hesitation as she declared. “It’s time I made new memories, better memories.” The _with you_ was unspoken and unnecessary, and the glimmer in her girlfriend’s eyes told her that Mira had heard them loud and clear, but Mira was still cautious, still gentle as she asked softly.

“Are you sure?” Not doubting, but reassuring. Giving her a choice, and Erza had to swallow past the sudden lump in her throat, her hand moving, slipping to the back of Mira’s head and pulling her down into a tender kiss, before adding unsteadily.

“Just stay close to me.”

****

   If this had been a fairy tale, Erza would’ve walked onto the beach two weeks later, her hand in Mira’s, and the past, the memories, would have all faded away beneath her girlfriend’s gentle touches and warm presence. However, it wasn’t, and that first day, with no mission to distract her, Erza hadn’t been able to bring herself to go out onto the beach. Instead, they had spent the day explore the pretty, little coastal town, checking out the market stalls, and sampling the local food. Once or twice she would catch Mira watching her with concern, and she could feel that concern wrapping its warmth around her, an armour that no one could see, but was stronger than any she had in her inventory. And that night as she pulled Mira down into bed, yanking her into a heated kiss, she had the courage to whisper ‘tomorrow’, the word lost between them as Mira held her close.

*

    Mira hadn’t asked if she was sure the next morning. Instead, she’d snuggled close, keeping them both in bed till the morning was well advanced, distracting and soothing with idle chatter, and teasing, butterfly kisses.

   In the end, it had been Erza who had moved first, reluctantly removing herself from her girlfriend’s warmth and padding towards the shower, unsurprised to hear the echo of footsteps behind her. There were no questions, no attempts to change her minds, just a solid warmth at her back as they showered together, and then dressed for the beach. Erza could’ve changed at the beach as she had in the past, but there was something about sharing this moment with Mira, letting her girlfriend fasten the bikini in place, kissing her shoulder in passing, that eased the knot in her chest. It felt like she was donning armour of a different sort, and she was smiling, albeit a little shakily when Mira finally took her hand, twining their fingers together before pulling her towards the door.

    The walk down to the beach was both too long, and not long enough, but Mira was there. Warm and real, pressed against her side, their hands still clasped together. Erza could feel her fingers tightening as the beach came into view, the sand blazing gold in the sunshine, the sea at peace in the gentle almost non-existent breeze, and for a moment she was lost in the beauty of it. Then her vision seemed to waver, darkness looming in the distance, and she knew that her grip had to be hurting Mira at this point, but there was no words of protest, just a gentle squeeze in return. A silent ‘ _I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere’_ , and Erza could feel the same warmth from the day before washing over her, chasing away the darkness, her vision clearing, and she blinked before taking a shaking breath.

“Ready?” Mira finally broke the silence, voice soft, and Erza was startled to realise that they were at the edge of the sands and for a moment she froze, staring at her feet. _No._ There was the lightest of squeezes against her hand – encouragement, reassurance, acceptance…everything that had been missing back then, and Erza’s mind was on that, on that warmth, the invisible armour now wrapped around her as she stepped forward blindly.

    The sand shifted beneath her feet, and without thinking she found herself toeing off her flip-flops and scrunching her toes in the sand, as Mira mirrored her actions, before reaching down to pick both pairs up and store them in her bag one-handed, never loosening her grip on Erza’s hand. It was different, the sand soft against her feet, whereas back then it had felt harsh, stinging against the scratches that had crisscrossed tiny, abused feet. Her steps weren’t dogged by grief and exhaustion as she stepped forward, for a moment at least able to lose herself in staying balanced on the uneven surface, Mira at her side.

_It’s different._

     The knot in her chest that Mira had begun to unravel, was coming undone with each step she took, and slowly she lifted her head to look out across the waters as they headed towards where the water kissed the sands. It was beautiful. With Mira’s warmth at her side, and shielding her heart, she could look out across the vast blue, without the darkness looming close. It was still there. Perhaps it always would be, but it was bearable in a way that she had never thought it would be.

  _Go Forwards. Keep going forwards._

    She jolted when she felt water lapping at her feet, blinking as she realised, they had reached the edge of the sea, and there was a brief flash of panic, of darkness. Then gentle hands were grabbing her face, and her world filled with the one blue that had never frightened her, an ocean of a different sort opening before as she found herself gazing into Mira’s eyes. Then there were lips on hers, chaste and gentle, a beacon to guide her home and keep her anchored. _I’m not lost this time,_ she thought as she leant into the kiss, arms creeping around Mira, pulling her close.

_Because I’m here with you…_


End file.
